Had A Rumble With The Slytherin Gang

(A coworker and I are talking while on break. I’ve just told him about a gang fight I was in a few years ago, when I had to walk through a rough neighborhood at night to get to my car after work.)

Coworker: “Wow. That’s crazy. I’ve never been in a fight.”

Me: “Keep it that way. It sucks when you show up to work the next day with a black eye, or get home and have to explain to your roommates why you have a fat lip and a bloody nose.”

Coworker: “I can see that conversation now: ‘So there was this guy just laying there, not moving with his fist up in the air.'”

Me: “There was a basilisk on the loose and I was holding up a mirror and running toward him when I fell.”

Coworker: “It turns out I tripped over a petrified cat!”

Me: “But at least I was able to save the guy from the deadly gaze of the basilisk.”

Coworker: “We’re huge nerds, aren’t we?”

Me: “I don’t even have the slightest problem with that.”