Get Your Attitude Out Of The Way

(My dad and I are in a large, upmarket store which has a reputation for being expensive and pretentious. I have just come from a work meeting so am neatly dressed but my dad is in workman’s boots and overalls as he has been painting his lounge for most of the day, and has a rather wild handlebar moustache that he seems to never be able to tame. We have come in to look at the range of meats they sell which have been advertised as on offer for only one week. My dad has already attracted a few glances and muttered comments from other shoppers.)

Me: *as we approach the bread aisle* “Hang on, I’ve forgotten I need brown sugar for that cake I’m making. Stay here; I’ll be 30 seconds.”

(I fetch the sugar from the baking aisle and walk back to the bread. There is a large display of specialist breads which my dad is standing in front of, looking at some rolls. A woman is standing behind him. She is rolling her eyes and tutting but doesn’t ask my dad to move which is obviously what she wants. As I approach Dad, she turns around and says:)

Woman: “It’s always THESE type of people who get in the way, isn’t it?!”

(For a moment I’m stunned, trying to process what the woman means, then without thinking I say:)

Me: “B****!”

(She goes pale and almost sprints away from me and hides behind a man with a shopping cart who I presume is her husband. She grabs his arm, pushes the cart away, and drags him towards the door. There is silence for a few seconds, then Dad turns around. He is holding some rolls in a bag and is completely oblivious to everything that has just happened. He puts the rolls in the cart and we carry on to continue shopping. We are given a wide berth by pretty much everyone in the store until we pay and go to his car.)

Dad: “They seemed nice enough in there, not stuck up or anything. Nobody said anything to us, either!”