Developing A Beer Gut In Your Old Underage

(This story occurs in 1984, when Colorado still sold 3.2% ABV beer. People who are 18-20 years old can buy this in grocery stores and at “teen” clubs. Restaurants usually serve regular strength beer, which you have to be 21 to buy. I’m meeting a friend, who was born in 1965, for lunch at a restaurant/bar. When I arrive, he’s already at a booth, drinking a beer.)

Me: “Hi. Hey, I didn’t know they sold 3.2 beer here.”

Friend: “They don’t. The waitress just asked if I wanted a beer, but then asked for an ID. I showed it to her, but I guess that the way I gave it to her helped, and perhaps she subtracted 65 from 84 and got 21.”

(Soon thereafter, she comes over to take my drink order. I give her my ID, hopefully with the same flair.)

Waitress: “Sorry, hun. 84-64 is twenty. You have to be 21 to get beer here.”

(I take a breath to protest that my friend has a beer. But he glares at me, so I just shrug, smile, and order a Coke.)