Deliver Me From This Delivery Man!

(My phone rings.)

Delivery Guy: “Hi. I can’t find your flat.”

Me: “It’s the red metal door. It’s the only one on the street. I’ll come down and meet you halfway.”

Delivery Guy: “But how do I get in?”

Me: “There’s a code in my delivery notes — [code] — along with a description of the door.”

(Silence.)

Me: “Hello?”

Delivery Guy: “Hi. When are you coming down? I don’t think I can get in. The door is locked.”

Me: “Okay. I guess since I was meeting you halfway, anyway…”

(When I got down, I opened my red door and saw the delivery guy stood on the other side of the street trying to get through a wooden fence that wasn’t red, nor had any indication that it could be opened. The gate wasn’t even on my street. I had to take him by the hand to my door. He was still confused and wouldn’t give me my parcel, even after he rung my phone again and had a conversation with me ON THE PHONE while I stood right in front of him. He left and my parcel was delivered the next day by a guy who was much more together.)