Carry On, Carrie

(I’ve been paired with two girls to dissect a lamb’s heart. They don’t really like me, as I’ve never been the kind of girl to wear makeup and act like them. Note that they’re just watching the dissection and not bothering to help.)

Girl #1: “Ew! [My name], how can you do this? It’s GROSS!”

Girl #2: “That is disgusting! I can’t do that! The blood will get on my nails!”

(They go back to our desk and start grooming themselves, all the while whining that the dissection is horrible, how can I do this, their hair will be ruined, and leaving me to do all the work. Eventually, I’ve had enough and decide to have a little fun.)

Me: “Hey, [Girl #1]?”

Girl #1: “What?”

Me: “Look at THIS!”

(I hold up my hands, having deliberately covered them with as much blood as I can. They both scream.)

Girl #1: “Oh, EW! You’re gross, [my name]!”

Girl #2: “Don’t come near me! You’ll get it on me and ruin my nails!”

(The entire class is watching at this point. I grin, pick up the dissected heart and chase them around the science lab with it. They shriek in terror. Everyone cheers me on and even the teacher doesn’t try to stop me as he is laughing too hard. I win.)