Boris Now Fights Scammers

(My little brother is a fan of an FPS game with characters of various origins. One of his favorite things to do while playing other video games is to imitate the voice of one of the characters, who has a super-loud voice with a Russian accent. When I get the calls from “Microsoft,” this interaction happens.)

Scammer: “Hi, this is Microsoft. We detected a virus on your computer.”

Me: “Please hold for Heavy.” *covers phone and goes to [Brother]’s room* “Heavy, it’s for you.”

Brother: *picks up the voice and dons bad Russian Accent* “Heavy Cyber Security Handlers. WE PUNCH HACKERS! What needs pun-” *switches to normal, quiet voice* “They hung up on Heavy.”

(My family has a competition on who handles them the best. My brother got first place, second goes to my uncle who answers the phone with “Sheriff’s Department.”)