Anything That Isn’t Chocolate Makes Us Sad

(I work in a deli.)

Customer: *pointing at something that absolutely does not look like chocolate* “Is this chocolate?”

Me: “No, it’s spicy mustard.”

(She squirts some of it on her finger and tastes it. You can see her realisation, but she doubles down.)

Customer: “Oh, my goodness. That sure is chocolatey!”

Me: *smirking* “Yes, will you be having some?”

Customer: *eyes watering* “No, I’m good, thank you.”

(She left. I’m not sure if she was crying because it was spicy, or because her hopes had been destroyed.)