A Cookie Monster Of A Diet

(My wife and I are out shopping with a friend, and have just arrived at our destination. My wife is currently on a restricted diet and cannot eat foods containing milk.)

Me: “So where next? [Shop] or food?”

Wife: “I’d say food; [friend] hasn’t had anything to eat today apart from that giant chocolate chip cookie.”

Me: *in Cookie monster’s voice* “Mmm, cookie…”

(I start trying to eat my wife’s head.)

Me: “Om nom nom nom!”

Wife: “I AM NOT A COOKIE!”

Me: “You’re small and sweet—”

Wife: “BUT NOT FULL OF CHOCOLATE!”

(My wife realises what she has just said, and suddenly looks miserable.)

Friend & Me: “Aww!”