You’re Not His Allspark

(I am lying on my bed reading when my five-year-old son, who has been tucked in all of five minutes, cracks my door open, and a stuffed shark appears.)

Me: “Yes?”

Son: “I can’t stop thinking about you. I really like you.”

Me: “Really, baby? Come and have a huggle with mummy.” *he snuggles in, shark and all* “What do you like about mummy, then?”

Son: “When you play with me and hug me and make me laugh when I hurt myself.”

Me: “That’s lovely, baby, but I do all that because I’m your mummy and I love you more than anything.”

Son: “What, even more than Transformers? I don’t love anything more than Transformers.”

Me: “…”