Writing Destined For The Toilet

(A good friend of mine and I are chatting over instant messenger about random things, and the subject moves on to love languages. This is the claim that there are five main ways people express/receive love: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. Note that we are both female and we both enjoy creative writing, identifying as writers. I am also single and quite happy with my status.)

Me: “I swear my future husband’s love language better also be ‘words of affirmation’ and ‘touch’. Because, seriously, I will cuddle the s**t out of him and write him lots of cheesy letters.”

Friend: “Your future husband better be a writer, too.”

(There is a pause as I ponder my words.)

Me: “Okay, now I just have an image of me hugging him while he’s on the toilet.”

Friend: *mocking me* “Now push while I squeeze!”

Me: “Yeah, okay… maybe not the best phrasing.”