We’re Bipolar Opposites

(I’ve been having a particularly bad day and I’m talking to a friend about my frustration with my boyfriend.)

Me: “And [Boyfriend] won’t answer his god-d*** mother-f****** phone that stupid f****** d***-wad b****. AUGGGHHHHH!”

Friend: “Dang, now tell me how you really feel.”

Me: *with a dreamy tone to my voice* “I like him. I really like him.”