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Washing Himself Of The Situation

| Friendly | February 18, 2014

(I’m a six foot tall black man and am dressed casually, but nothing dirty or torn. I pull up to a gas station to fill up my car and notice that my windshield is somewhat messy. I get a couple of paper towels and the squeegee and begin to clean my windshield. There’s another car parked next to me with a young guy pumping his gas. I’m minding my own business. A girl comes out of the gas station, then starts to wander in my direction.)

Girl: “Hey, you in the hat!”

Me: *glances over at her*

Girl: *in an incredibly condescending tone* “You wanna washa my window for two dolla?”

Me: “Hmm. I have a better proposition. How about I give you $20 to s*** my d***?”

(I notice that the other customer is now paying attention to this girl and me.)

Girl: “I’m not a prostitute! I’m insulted! I’m a—”

Me: “—it doesn’t matter what you are. Just like you’re outraged to be called a prostitute, I’m insulted to be called a $2 window washer. So if you don’t want to be insulted, maybe you shouldn’t insult others, hmm?”

Girl: “It was just a joke!”

Me: “The joke, my dear lady, is you.”

Girl: *storms off*

(The other customer doesn’t say a word. He just walks over to me, holds up his hand for a high-five. I give him one, and then he gets in his car and drives off.)

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Have you ever met a customer who thought the world revolved around them?

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