Tree-ting The Request With Respect

(Two customers come in for lunch and want to eat outside on the deck. I take their order, bring it to them, and periodically check on them to make sure everything is going well. I come back again at the end of their meal.)

Me: “So, how was everything? Would you like dessert, or would this be all for you ladies today?”

Customer #1: “Everything was great, thank you.”

Customer #2: “It was great, and I don’t want to sound rude, but I’m going to criticize.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer #2: “You’re on the river. You should be a fine dining establishment. You shouldn’t have the trees dropping pine cones and other stuff on the deck. And you should get rid of the spider webs.”

(Customer #1 is looking at Customer #2 indicating that she would like her to shut up.)

Me: “We clean the deck off a few times a week, but the wind has been picking up lately, and stuff keeps falling from the trees. Would you like me to ask the spiders if they would kindly stop building their webs on the deck every night also?”

Customer #2: “If you would do that, that would be great!”

Customer #1: “And I suppose you want her to ask the trees to stop dropping things on the deck too?”

Customer #2: “Yes! Please do it!”

(Fortunately, Customer #1 apologized to me as soon as they were walking out the door.)