Throwing A Killer New Year’s Party

(It’s New Year’s Eve and our and another family are celebrating.)

Me: *asking friend* “What’s your New Year’s resolution?”

Him: *playing a shooter game on tablet* “To kill you.”

Me: *stunned* “What?!”

Him: *looks up and sees me and pales* “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry. I was—”

Me: “I understand, dude.”

(We both laughed after that.)