The Other Taxi Is Streets Ahead

(I live in a corner house so I can see the next few streets over. I call for a cab to get me to work because my bike has a flat tire that I don’t have time to fix.)

Taxi Dispatch: “Your taxi will be there in about five minutes.”

(Fifteen minutes later, it hasn’t arrived so I call back and sit on hold for five minutes when I receive a phone call.)

Taxi Driver #1: “Hey, I’m in front of your house”

Me: “No, you’re not. I’m standing on the porch.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I’m in front of your house. It’s [my address].”

Me: “Yes, that’s my address, but you’re not here. I’m standing right here and your cabs are bright orange, kinda hard to miss.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I’m in front of your house.”

Me: “Are you sure you didn’t pull into [next street over]? I just saw an orange car turn onto that road.”

Taxi Driver #1: “No, I’m on [my street], in front of your house.”

Me: “I don’t know how I can say this any other way, you’re not in front of my house. I would know.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I am on [my street].”

(This goes on for far too long and I would have just hung up but I am in a hurry. Luckily another cab from a different company drives by and I flag it down.)

Me: *to new cab* “Are you free?”

Taxi Driver #2: “Yeah, hop in. Where are we going?”

Me: *on phone* “Cancel that ride, I just found another cab.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Oh, you’re right. I am on [next street over].”

(He then drove the wrong way on a one way street to come over to my street, but I was already in the second cab and the driver was programming his GPS.)

Taxi Driver #1: *stops his car in the middle of the street and glares at me and the other driver until we leave*