That’s Her Story And She’s Sticking To It

(My boyfriend used to share an apartment with my best friend and her boyfriend. My best friend would Skype her mother at least once a week, with her laptop screen facing towards the wall behind her. Her mother would often ask who was making noises in the background.)

Friend’s Mother: “What’s that noise?!”

Friend: “Oh that’s [Friend #2]. He just got home.”

(Another noise.)

Friend’s Mother: “What’s going on over there?”

Friend: “That’s [Boyfriend]. HEY, [Boyfriend]! SHUT UP, YA BUTT!”

Boyfriend: “NEVER!”

(Since her mom has never met me or my boyfriend, she apparently refused to believe he was real. One day my friend came up with a solution.)

Friend: “Hey, mom! Meet [Boyfriend]!”

(She holds up a little stick figure with a photo of my boyfriend’s face taped over the head.)

Friend: *moving stickman* “Wah wah wah, I’m [Boyfriend]!”

(Her mom cracked up laughing. That stickman is still around, and gets a change of outfit every holiday…)