Taking Them All Into Custard-y

, | Healthy | January 8, 2018

(I am in hospital for a suspected concussion. It is lunch time and I have ordered some custard. I am about to start eating it when a nurse on the ward comes up to me.)

Nurse: “Sorry, [My Name], but you can’t have that.”

Me: “Why not?”

Nurse: “It doesn’t meet his dietary requirements.” *points to patient on other side of the ward*

Me: “It doesn’t meet his?”

Nurse: “No.”

Me: “Well, it meets mine.”

Nurse: “That’s not how it works.”

Me: *looking around* “Two other people have ordered custard, too. Are you going to take theirs as well?”

Nurse: “…” *walks away*

(I asked the head nurse about it later, and she told me that she does it repeatedly through the week with the head trauma patients, and secretly eats it herself. They’ve found her in the wet room several times, sometimes with multiple servings. They’ve all tried to complain, but whenever she’s at risk of losing her job, she claims to be of [Country] descent, which seems keeps the higher-ups at a distance, cautious of racial discrimination claims.)

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