The Beauty Of A One-Track Mind

, , , | Right | February 13, 2008

Me: Thank you for calling [Retail Store], what can I help you with?

Lady: “Yes, I was wondering if you had any TV’s that were in your ad.”

*I remember selling the last one a few moments ago*

Me: “I’m sorry, we have no more left in stock.”

Lady: “Why?”

Me: “Because I sold the last one a few moments ago.”

Lady: “Why would you do something like that? I wanted one.”

Me: “Well thats what we do here, we sell things. We may get some more in tomorrow. You could call tomorrow morning and ask to put one on hold.”

Lady: “Okay, I’d like to do that now.”

Me: “I can’t do that, we don’t have any now. I meant to try again tomorrow.”

Lady: “Okay. The name is Johnson.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have any more of the TV’s that were on sale to put on hold. I don’t understand why you are not grasping that. We have zero TV’s that you want. I have several other models that are not on sale you can choose from.”

Lady: “I would like the one in your ad to be put on hold under my name.”

Me: “Ma’am, we are sold out of that model!”

Lady: “Okay. I’ll come pick it up later today.”

Me: “Ma’am, I sold the last TV before you called!”

Lady: “Why?”

Me: *click*

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Hey Look, It’s Raining Change

, , , | Right | February 12, 2008

A lady walks in with a bunch of change in her hands.

Lady: “Can you give me a dollar bill for all this change?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s against company policy to open the register unless I am making a sale.”

Lady: “But you just opened the register for that kid.”

Me: “Yes, because I was making a sale.”

Lady: “This is bull-s***. You aren’t helping me because I’m Hispanic!”

She starts swearing at me in Spanish and English.

Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.”

She continues yelling.

Me: “Have a good day.”

She is still yelling.

Me: “Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

The lady is about two feet away from me and throws all of her coins at me. I didn’t move because I was in shock. She managed to not hit me with one single coin.

Me: “Ma’am, you dropped your change.”


This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

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Good, Because Beagles Don’t Like Fridges

, , | Right | February 11, 2008

(This guy with a thick Bosnian accent comes up to me.)

Customer: “I am looking for beekels.”

Me: “Beekels?”

Customer: “Okay…”

(I show him where are the bagels are.)

Customer: “No, Not bread. Beekles.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “The kind you put in fridge.”

Me: “Oh.”

(I go to the freezers and show him the frozen bagels.)

Customer: “NO! NOT BREAD! BEEKLES!”

Me: “I can’t… I don’t know… uh…”

(He walks away. A few Aisles away he sees it and picks up.)

Customer: “This is what I was looking for.”

Me: “Oh, pickles…”

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Whoever Blinks First Loses

, , , | Right | February 11, 2008

(It is Christmas time, and we are all extra wary of credit card fraud, so we are required to check IDs with all credit card purchases.)

Me: “The total is $17.88.”

(Customer pulls out a credit card.)

Me: “Will that be credit or debit?”

Customer: “Credit.”

Me: “All right. Do you mind if I see your ID?”

Customer: “What if I do mind?”

Me: “Then we’re at a stalemate.”

(I folded my arms, and looked at her straight in the eyes.)


This story is part of the Clueless With Credit Cards roundup!

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This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup!

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Believe Me, She’ll Be Back

, , | Right | February 10, 2008

(I am working for the electronics department for a well known retail chain when I was contacted by the customer service desk.)

Customer Service: “A woman is headed your way who’s exchanging a phone, can you give her a hand?”

Me: “Sure.”

(Sure enough, a minute or two later, the woman appears.)

Woman: “I’m here to get a new phone. The phone I bought had been used already; there were phone numbers in the caller ID.”

Me: “Alright, let’s get you a new one.”

(I walk her to the phone aisle and we pick up another phone of the same make/model.)

Woman: “Can you open it? I just want to make sure that it is brand new.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I proceed to open the box and pull out the phone.)

Woman: “That one’s been used too! Look at the numbers on the caller ID!”

(I now realize that she’s referring to the display sticker.)

Me: “No, that’s just a sticker they put on the phone to show that it has caller ID.”

Woman: “No, that phone has been used!”

(I then peel the sticker off the phone. Without saying another word, she takes the phone over to customer service to finish the exchange.)

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