(I’m a keeper at a local wildlife park. The park has a ‘Lemur Walkthrough,’ where customers can come into the enclosure and get up close with several species of lemur. I’m currently supervising the walkthrough to make sure that the lemurs and visitors are behaving themselves, when a woman comes up to me.)

Me: “Hi there! Is everything all right?”

Customer: “Hi. I just thought I’d let you know that you’ve got a very friendly lemur.”

Me: “Oh? What did they do?”

Customer: “I was just sitting on the bench when one of them came up and tried to undo my dress!”

Me: “Really? I’m so sorry! They can get quite cheeky when they’ve just had their lunch.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it! There aren’t many people can say that a lemur’s tried to undress them. I’ve certainly got something to remember today by now!”

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(One day I’m at the park with my three sisters and two oldest nieces. We’re playing tennis and my oldest sister comes up with this:)

Oldest Sister: “I like hockey but those puck things make me think of Ding Dongs and then I get hungry!”

(I work for a state park, and we get asked a lot of the same questions every day. Sometimes we hear them enough and we simply respond by making some BS answer and continue leading the customer the wrong way, just so they will stop complaining.)

Customer: “This is my first time ever visiting here and I was wondering, when do the deer turn into moose?”

Me: *having heard this at least five times* “Usually around the end of October through the middle of November.”

Customer: “Could you be more specific on the date?”

Me: “My apologies, but it varies from year to year. Some years are better than others and they turn much quicker, though I have a feeling this is one of those years.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you for the useful information!”

(The man walked away thinking deer turn into moose. My coworkers asked how long I had been thinking of that answer. I made it up as we were talking, hoping he would catch my sarcasm…)

(Overheard:)

Girl: “Wait, those were SEAGULLS? I thought they were CHILDREN!”

(My dad and I have gone to a swimming hole with my uncle, my two young cousins, a close family friend, and her daughter. My uncle is adopted, and not the same race as the rest of the family. My older cousin seems to get along great with the friend’s daughter, who is about the same age as her (8/9-ish), and I’m hopeful of a budding friendship there. As we are walking back to the cars, I try to ‘casually’ figure out if they could become school friends.)

Me: “So, [Daughter] will be going to [local school]?”

Friend: “Yep.”

Me: “Do you think she might be in the same class as [Cousin]?

Daughter: “No, I’m going into grade five, and [Cousin]’s school only goes up to grade four.”

Friend: “Yeah, [Cousin]’s school is a First Nations school, and it only goes up to grade four.”

Cousin: “What’s First Nations?

(We can’t help but chuckle a bit at this before we respond.)

Me: Well, you are, pookie.”

Cousin: “But what does it MEAN?”

Me: “Well, before the white people came, your people were here first. You’re the native people.”

Cousin: “Oh. Okay.” *happily goes back to playing with her brother and white friend*

(My dad, the friend, and I just kind of looked at each other and smiled. And if anyone is wondering why my cousin didn’t know the term ‘First Nations,’ she has been taught her native tongue and the proper words for her people & tribe. She just didn’t know the anglicized version.)