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His Joke Has A Certain Ring To It

| Romantic | June 27, 2012

Me: “What a perfect day for a picnic! How thoughtful, babe. I guess you can be romantic.”

Boyfriend: *indignant* “I’m always romantic!”

(After dating for 5 years, my boyfriend has gotten in the habit of moving a ring of mine to my ring finger, to which I would always jokingly reply, “Not until it’s a diamond!” He does just that.)

Me: “Not until it’s a-” *I notice that the ring doesn’t feel right and take a peek* “Babe?”

Boyfriend: “Will you marry me?”

Me: *squealing and nodding* “I love you!”

Boyfriend: “See? Romantic.”

The Best De-Fence

| Romantic | June 26, 2012

(My girlfriend and I have just left my house, and we’re walking down the street. We pass my really pretty neighbour who is painting her fence. Note: my favourite book growing up was ‘The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer’.)

Me: “Well, that looks like an awful lot of fun.”

Neighbour: “Oh, it is. I couldn’t possibly keep all of this fun to myself. I think I may have a paintbrush or two handy, if you feel like having some fun!”

Girlfriend: “Ugh. That’s so boring! You lame-o’s!”

Me: “Perhaps if we had some more time. It certainly does look like a lot of fun.”

Neighbour: “Maybe I could save some for you when you get back…”

(My girlfriend and I walk off. She dumps me later that week, and my neighbour consoles me. My neighbour and I have now been happily married for five years, and we both love painting the fence a different colour every year or so.)

Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 15

| Romantic | June 25, 2012

(My girlfriend and I are walking home from the movies. We’re discussing zombies.)

Me: “I freaking hate zombies!”

Girlfriend: “Me too!”

Me: “If I saw someone chewing on another person, I’d run like crazy!”

Girlfriend: “Imagine if we’d got bitten.”

Me: “I’d kill you right there and then!”

Girlfriend: “Aw, thank you! I’d kill you too!”

Me: “Seriously. If you even see someone ‘om-noming’ on me, just shoot first and ask later.”

Girlfriend: “Deal! How about haunted houses?”

Me: “Oh, screw that. I’d never make it.”

Girlfriend: “Me neither. Let’s just off each other in that case too.”

Me: “Deal! No running around in panic…”

Girlfriend: “…mentally scarred for life…”

Me: “…with limbs possibly missing.”

Girlfriend: “Nope, just blissful death.”

Me: “I’m glad I can count on you.”

Girlfriend: “Is it weird that I feel safer now?”

Me: “Nope. Now I know that as long as you’re not trying to kill me, everything is alright.”


Silent Letters Bug Me

| Related | June 24, 2012

(We are talking to the neighbor on a very buggy, summer evening when I am about 3 years old.)

Neighbor: *smacks her arm* “Ow! Another bug bite!”

Me: “There are lots of mos-KWEE-toes out tonight!”

Dad: “That’s not how you say ‘mosquitoes’.”

Me: “I know, but that’s how you spell it!”

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The Taste Is Timeless

| Romantic | June 23, 2012

(My boyfriend and I are out for a walk.)

Me: *sigh* “I have so much to do, I have no time.”

Boyfriend: “Here you go.”

(He holds out his empty hand as if there is something in it.)

Boyfriend: “It’s ‘right now’, though.”

(I act as if I’m picking something small out of his hand, look at it for a moment, and then put it in my mouth, looking as if I’m enjoying eating it.)

Boyfriend: “What are you doing?”

Me: *without skipping a beat* “I’m savouring the moment.”