(The movie has just ended and the only couple in attendance stay in their seats and continue watching the credits. Note: we only show one movie per night, so when it’s over we try to hurry and clean up so we can leave. For some reason the credits stop about five seconds early.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Why were the credits just cut off? That’s not where they were supposed to end and that was a beautiful song!!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am. The projector runs until the movie is over, so I think that’s where the reel ended.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! I’m a musician and that was a beautiful song and I’m going to talk to the owner about what you guys did tonight! That was so rude to such an amazing work of art!”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m very sorry. I can see why you’re upset but I really think it was just the projector.”

Customer: “Well, I’m still mad about it. And the ventilation system in here is too loud! I could barely hear the movie! And these carpets are getting so worn; you really need to replace them!”

Me: *as couple walks out* “Yeah, I’m the janitor but I’ll get right on ordering new carpeting…”

(Afterwards my supervisor thanked me for getting rid of her and apologized because it was him who cut the credits short thinking it would make them leave sooner. Oops!)

(I go to see ‘Castaway’ with a friend. This happened during the night scene on the raft where a whale shows up. A couple rows back, I hear a mother quietly exclaim:)

Mom: “Oh, no! It’s a shark!”

Daughter: *probably 10-ish, whispers* “No, mom, that’s a whale.”

Mom: “No, honey, I’m pretty sure it’s a shark.”

Daughter: “Mom, it’s a whale. The tail is sideways.”

Mom: “Are you sure it isn’t a shark?”

Daughter: “Yes, Mom. It’s a whale.”

(My friend and I were silently giggling the whole time and still laugh about it 15 years later.)

(I’ve lost my voice. The plans for shifts are done the next day. My sister and I work for the same site so my sister calls in on my behalf.)

Sister: “Hi, this is [Sister].”

Manager: “Hey, is everything okay?”

Sister: “I’m fine but [My Name] has lost her voice. She wanted you to know because it may affect her at work tomorrow.”

Manager: “Get [My Name] to call tomorrow if she still feels bad.”

Sister: “Uh… how is she supposed to call in if she has lost her voice?”

(I work at a small movie theater, selling tickets. We are on a slow day one month before the first “Iron Man” movie’s theatrical release. A tired looking man in his 50s shows up at the register.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you today?”

Man: *Looking right thru me* “Iron Man!”

Me: “Oh, you want to see the upcoming Iron Man movie? I am sorry but this title will only be released next mo…”

Man: “Iron Man!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but you may be too early to see Iron Man. This movie is not released in France yet. It isn’t even scheduled for now. The movies planned today are…”

Man: “WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG? I WANT TO SEE IRON MAN!”

(At this point, I don’t know if I am upset or amused by this ridiculous situation.)

Me: “Again, sorry, sir. This title will not be screened before next month.”

Man: “I want to see Iron Man!”

Me: “Yes, you stated that clearly.”

(For half a minute, we stare at each other awkwardly.)

Man: “How many for Iron Man?”

Me: *exasperated* “I CANNOT sell you tickets for a show that IS NOT scheduled yet.”

(My manager, working in a room nearby, must have heard me raise my voice. He stormed out of his office and takes me away from the register.)

Manager: *quietly to me* “You must inform and serve the customer with respect. Go on break. I take care of him”

Me: “Seriously…”

Manager: *To the customer* “Sorry about that. How can I help you?”

Man: “Iron Man!”

(I decided to take my “break” in the room nearby. I heard my manager struggling to explain over and over again that Iron Man was not screened today. The customer finally left and my confused manager apologized to me.)

(I work at a movie theater. It’s a lot of late nights, so sometimes I am pretty tired at work.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Guest: “Er, yeah, I would like a medium [soda].”

Me: *out of habit* “Would you like to add butter?”

Guest: “YEAH!”

Me: “Wait. No, I cannot offer butter in your drink. I am really tired, sorry. I can put butter in a small cup, if you like.”

Guest: “I thought it was weird, but I remembered that trend with butter in coffee so I thought this was something new and cool. But no butter, thanks.”