(My friend and I are babysitting my very young brother. We are 12 at the time and my brother is three. My brother is also clearly adopted.)
Friend: “You guys are sharing ice cream? Eww!”
Me: “That’s okay. He’s my brother. We’re made out of the same things.”
Friend: “Whaa?”
Me: “Cells!”
(I am 10 years old and my brother is a year younger. My grandparents take us to a dairy to get ice creams.)
Me: “Can I please have a scoop of vanilla and one of chocolate, please?”
(My brother also orders. My grandparents pay and the cashier makes the ice creams and hands them to us.)
Brother & Me: “Thank you.”
Cashier: “Wait. Can I please have your ice creams back for a moment?”
Me: “Okay…”
(We hand over the ice creams. The cashier takes mine and adds an extra scoop, and then does the same for my brother.)
Cashier: “There you go. You know, you are the only people to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ all day.”
Me: “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
(I take a request on a phone call.)
Me: “We can only make small round, large round, and small rectangle cakes, sir. We cannot make large rectangles.”
Caller: “Okay, so is it possible for me to have a cake made by Sunday? Mother’s day?”
Me: “We can have any cake ready for you by Mother’s day. Yes, sir!”
Caller: “Any cake? I thought you just said that you can’t make large rectangles cakes.”
Me: “We can’t, like I just said, sir.”
Customer: “So, let me get this straight. You can make ANY cake except the large rectangle?”
Me: *face-palm*
(I’m picking up my son from elementary school when he asks for ice cream. The man selling outside is in his 50s-60s and pushing an ice cream cart in 100+ degree weather. There’s a 10 year old boy with his 5 year old sister ahead of us.)
Girl: “I want that one”
Boy: “How much is that?”
Ice cream Man: “$1.50”
Boy: *to sister* “We only have two dollars.”
Sister: “I want that one.”
(She points to another that also turns out to be $1.50, this goes on for another three times until the man finally sells them for $1 instead of $1.50.)
Boy: “I’ll take two.”
(The man’s expression seems like he can’t afford to lose a penny but he gives it to them anyway.)
Son: “I’ll take that one.”
Ice Cream Man: “That’s $1.00.”
(I hand him $3.00 and tell him it’s to cover the kids in front of us. The man seems so relieved it made me wish I had more change.)
(I’m scooping ice cream when four girls approach, probably in their early teens. One girl doesn’t look up from her cellphone the entire time.)
Girl #1: “Like, O-M-G. We should totes get ice cream.”
Girl #2: “We should! Hashtag delicious!”
(At this point I sort of do a double take as I have never heard anyone use ‘O-M-G’ and ‘hashtag’ in an actual sentence. )
Girl #3: “Totes hashtag guilty pleasure. Hashtag favourite food.”
Girl #1: “O-M-G . What flavors should we get? Hashtag decisions!”
Girl #3: “Hashtag double scoops. Hashtag muffin top! Let’s each get two scoops! We’re soooo bad!”
(They proceeded to get their ice cream and then I witnessed them all smooshed together outside the store taking selfies with their ice cream cones, all while making a duck face. I needed to take a break after that to regather my faith in humanity.)
