(A boy has come to school wearing makeup after losing a bet to his girlfriend.)

Male Student: “Oh, you look fabulous.”

Female Student: “Oh, my god, [Boy’s name]! You would make such a pretty girl!”

Teacher: *to female student* “Yes. And someday, you might too.”

(It’s the first day of the school year. I’m new to the school and know absolutely no one. In my first class, we are assigned alphabetically to seats. The teacher has us grouped together and has us introduce ourselves.)

Girl #1: “Hi, I’m [Girl #1] and this is [Girl #2]. Don’t worry, we don’t bite.”

Girl #2: “Wanna bet?”

(Girl #2 grabs Girl #1’s arm and literally bites it. I burst out laughing because this is exactly my sense of humor.)

Girl #1: *to Girl #2* “Did you actually just bite me? Why are we friends?” *to me* “You can move if you want. I would totally understand.”

(And that’s how I met my best friends in high school.)

(In history class, after the teacher asked us to read a booklet on archaeology:)

Student: “Oh, my God, why do we have to read this? It’s like a novel!”

(It was about 14 pages long and full of pictures.)

(I am in a year-twelve exam room, listening to the instructions. The student sitting in front of me puts his hand up and a supervisor comes over to assist.)

Student: “Hey, the instructions for this say I need a pencil, but I didn’t bring one. Can I borrow a pencil?”

Supervisor: *takes a pencil out of his pocket and hands it to the student* “Now remember, that’s a boomerang”

Student: “A what?”

Supervisor: “A boomerang… It comes back to me.”

Student: “In that case could I please have a pencil?”

Teacher: “Exams are about understanding, not regurgitating information!” *shows picture of his cat* “Regurgitation is for cats!”