(I work at a chocolate shop. Lately, every morning that I open, an older woman has been coming in and demanding free samples. We do have a sample tray so I’ve been obliging, even though she never actually buys anything. When I mention her to my manager she warns me that this woman has been doing this for a while and is suspected to also have stolen a number of items.)

Shoplifter: “Any samples for me this morning?”

Me: *having already hidden the sample tray, not wanted to indulge her anymore* “Sorry, none today.”

Shoplifter: “Aww, I want chocolate!”

Me: “Actually we do have a sale on right now, buy one get one free!”

Shoplifter: “I’m not paying for chocolate! I have no luck.” *she pouts but eventually leaves*

(Next day:)

Shoplifter: “I need a sample!”

Me: *getting incredible irritated but sticking a smile on my face* “Sorry, no samples today.”

Shoplifter: “Why not?”

Me: *making up an answer* “Well, corporate hasn’t told us what product to sample yet and we can’t just pick product at random to sample.”

Shoplifter: *sulking* “Aww, I want chocolate! You could give me one of those.” *points to chocolates in our display case*

Me: “Sure I could, for 1$!”

Shoplifter: “I don’t want to pay.”

Me: “Well, I can’t just give you free chocolates.”

Shoplifter: “Why not?”

Me: *starting to lose patience* “Because we’d go out of business.”

(The shoplifter continued to sulk and moan and started wandering through the store, turning around often to check if I was watching her. I basically followed her around the entire place until finally she left, muttering about how she had no luck!)

(My store sold chocolate liqueurs for a while. I’m lazing behind the counter one day when a shirtless woman in a sports bra staggers in. She mutters to herself as she circles the store, then stops at the counter and silently STARES at the liqueurs for several long moments.)

Woman: “Nah… I’m buzzed enough already!”

(A young boy, around ten, walks into the store and grabs a piece of candy directly from the bins, holding it in his hand as he looks at other candies.)

Me: “Put it in a bag, please.”

Boy: “Huh?”

Me: *indicating the candy in his hand* “You need to put it in a bag so you can get it weighed and pay for it.”

Boy: “Oh. I wasn’t going to pay for it.”

Me: “Then you can’t have it.”

(I hold my hand out to him and he comes up and hands me the candy, obviously confused that he wasn’t allowed to just take whatever he wanted. I just wish adults were so well behaved when it came to not getting free candy!)

(I’ve seen as many as three people a day do this…)

Customer: *picking through multi-flavored candy in order to only get the “good” flavors* “How come people keep picking through this and only taking the good flavors?!”

(The store I work in sells plush toys, and it’s sometimes a struggle for parents to convince their children to leave without buying any. However, one customer manages to come up with a wonderful story.)

Customer: “We can’t take them, honey! They’re the lady’s children! We can’t take her children!”

(I am amazed at her ingenuity, and decide to help by playing along.)

Me: *doing my best not to laugh* “I’d be SO SAD if somebody took my babies!”

Customer: “See! You don’t want to make the lady cry! So, we’ll leave the lady’s children with the lady!”

(They paid for their candy and left, without any plush toys. I burst out laughing as soon as they were gone.)