(I work at an arcade. All prizes are either under a counter or on a wall behind us. While stock changes, I know the ticket cost of each prize, and about how many we have. I’m also relatively good at math, and can add and subtract quickly in my head. A customer comes up on a slow day.)

Customer: “If I got [prize], how much would I have left?”

Me: *without pausing* “400. Did you wanna get it?”

Customer: “Uh, sure. How much is [other prize]?”

Me: “225, but we’re actually out of those.”

Customer: “You sure you don’t have any?”

Me: “I’m sure, sir. We have none in the stock room or in the cabinets.”

Customer: “Okay… how about [third prize]?”

Me: “It’s 400.”

Customer: “You know all the prices?”

Me: “Yup, memorized them by accident. Makes it easier to help people, though.”

Customer: “Oh, wow. Uh, can I get two [fourth prizes]?”

Me: “All right, here you go!”

Customer: “How much do I have left?”

Me: “Fifty, so you can get [candy], a bouncy ball, or some [other candy].”

Customer: “Hmm… do you have [candy] in orange?”

Me: “Nope, we only have these three colors.”

Customer: “You know the stock, too?”

Me: “Yep. I check often enough that I know what we do and don’t have.”

Customer: “Awesome. Can I get five [small candies]?”

Me: “Sure!” *I set them on the counter for him*

Customer: “Take them. Anyone who’s figured out how to run prizes this well deserves something.”

(I thanked him as he left. The rest of the day went a lot better after that.)

(Mom and I are visiting this arcade, where they have the machines on the floor and a tightrope on the ceiling. You can tightrope walk around the heads of people playing, and it looks cool. Or course, there’s a safety harness to wear in case you fall.)

Me: “Mom, Mom! Let’s do that!”

Mom: “Okay, fine.”

(We get in line to do the tightrope walking, and they put the harness on each of us. Note that neither Mom or I have a fear of heights.)

Me: *dashing around on the rope* “Cool!”

Mom: *has horrified look, panics, and leaves*

Me: “Mom, what are you doing?! Come on, I paid for this!”

Mom: “No way! It’s too much!”

(I have my fun, and then after I get down on the floor again, I turn to her.)

Me: “Why didn’t you go?”

Mom: “Are you kidding? With the… and the… no way.”

Me: “But we had safety harness on if we fell. Which I didn’t.”

Mom: *shaking head no*

Me: *teasing* “Wimp! What about all the time the you made me go on roller coasters when I was six?! I was scared but you made me!”

(Mom was silent, looking away embarrassedly.)

Me: “I never knew you had a fear of heights.”

Mom: “…Neither did I, until just now!”

(During slow days, we’re allowed to get tokens to play games in the arcade. We’ve just gotten Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution, so we’ve been playing it a lot. While playing, I suddenly realize nobody is at the front counter.)

Me: “Uh, hey, is anyone at the register?”

Coworker #1: “I think [Manager] is.”

(I look over at Guitar Hero, where the manager and another coworker are playing.)

Me: “[Manager], is anyone at the counter?”

Manager: “Nope!”

Me: “…Shouldn’t there be?”

Manager: “Nah, nobody’s coming in.”

(I run back and check the front, where a man and his son are waiting. I help them, then go back over to my coworkers.)

Me: “You know… we should probably stop playing around when there’s people here.”

Manager: “There’s nothing to do anyway. Might as well hang out and play games.”

(I work in a games arcade located next to a movie cinema with a step escalator. In the arcade, you play games which give you tickets, which you can exchange for a prize (toys, lollies, novelty items, etc.). A woman comes in with her daughter and her daughter’s friend (12ish).)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “We have 56 tickets. What can we get?”

Me: “Well, let’s round that up to 60 tickets, okay? So have a look in this section.”

Child: “I want a metal slinky.” *this is worth 60 tickets*

Me: “Okay, here you go. Have a nice day, guys!”

(They walk out without saying anything. Five minutes later they walk back in and talk to my coworker.)

Customer: “You gave us a broken slinky.” *proceeds to place a twisted pile of metal that was once a slinky on the desk*

Coworker: “Oh, no! I’m so sorry about that, guys; what happened here?”

Customer: “We received it like this! All my daughter did was take it out of the packet and bounce it up and down and it ended up like this! Get us a new one and make sure it isn’t broken.”

(My coworker goes to look at the packets, and there is no way they could get tangled within a packet and anyone familiar with logic would realise that simply springing a slinky down and back up would never twist and stretch a slinky like this one was. I took a wild stab in the dark here.)

Me: “So guys. You’re telling me that you DIDN’T try to push this slinky down the step escalators?”

Customer: “Uh… Uh… So you saw that, huh?”

Me: “No, but now you’ve admitted it, we can’t provide you with a new one for something that’s not our fault. Have a nice day!”

(I’m walking through the back room when i hear two managers talking to each other. I hear ‘screams like a banshee’ and suddenly look at them.)

Me: “Uhm… can I get some context on that?”

Manager #1: “Okay, so I was going through the game repair slips and saw one for [Game]. [Employee] wrote it, but had a quote from [Manager #3]. He said that the game screamed like a banshee when it turned on.”

Me: “Wait, really?!”

(I look at the repair form. It had the statement in quotes.)

Me: “So… do we call a mechanic or a priest?”