Shouldn’t Have Planted The Idea

(I work at a large chain farm store that is very popular in the midwest. I have really bad anxiety so I’m not usually on the register, but today I am helping out since we are short on cashiers. An older man in his 50s comes up to my register.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]!”

Customer: “Hello, young lady! I’d just like these plants here.”

(He has two full carts of different trees and plants so it takes me a while to ring him up. While I’m ringing him up, he is telling me about how much he loves the store.)

Me: “That will be $115.73.”

Customer: “You have such a beautiful smile and beautiful hair.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Customer: “Your boyfriend is so lucky!”

Me: “I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

Customer: “What? Why the h*** not?! You’re gorgeous! Your last boyfriend must be crazy for splitting up with you!”

Me: “Actually I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

Customer: “WHAT! OH MY F****** GOD! WHY THE H*** NOT?!”

Me: “Well, guys never talk to me and I’m too nervous to talk to them myself.”

Customer: “But you’re talking to me? I’m a guy!”

Me: “Yeah but you’re a customer. I don’t have any problems talking to customers.”

Customer: “I can be more than a customer.”

Me: “That will be $115.73, sir.”

(The customer pays while smiling creepily at me and I’m very uncomfortable at this point.)

Customer: “What time do you get off? I will come pick you up later!”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”