Giving The Little People A Voice

(My boyfriend and I live in separate houses. This happens late at night while on the phone saying goodnight. I am on my period and my boobs tend to hurt.)

Me: “Sweetie, my boobs hurt.”

Boyfriend: “Aw, well I’ll give them a hug the next time I see you.”

Me: “You’re thinking of that now, aren’t you?”

Boyfriend: “Maaaaaaybe.”

Me: “And you’re turned on too, aren’t you?”

Boyfriend: “Maaaaybe.”

Me: “Well, tell your penis to stop being turned on”

Boyfriend: *in a small, high pitched voice* “No!”

Me: “Are you talking to me or your penis?”

Boyfriend: “There is never going to be any other situation where that will make sense, will there?”

Me: *in a small, high pitched voice* “No!”

Boyfriend: “Are you talking to me or your boobs?”