She’s Rotten To The Core

(I am 11 years old and whilst my mother plays netball, I score games at the sports centre for a few dollars a game. I sit on a row of chairs on the sideline, and often players or their family members sit beside me. The 50+ year-old mother of one player often sits right next to me to make sure I’m scoring correctly as her daughter plays. She is not particularly nice, and to top it off has dreadful halitosis. I complain to my mother about this.)

Me: “… and her breath is terrible.”

Mum: “Well, honey, when a woman reaches a certain age, her insides start to rot. When this happens you can smell it on her breath.”

Me: “Oh, okay…”

(I didn’t realise until years later this wasn’t the case and was just my mother’s way of being funny.)