Romance Abhors A Vacuum

(Hubby and I are cuddling in bed before sleep.)

Husband: “Hey, did you have a bad dream last night?”

Me: “Yeah, I think so. Kind of. Why do you ask?”

Husband: “You sat up quickly and started yelling “No, no, god, no!” at the top of your voice. Then you laid back down.”

Me: “What did you do?”

Husband: “I told you, ‘God, yes’ so you grabbed my hand and placed it on your boob. What did you dream about?”

Me: *bursts into laughter* “That you were trying to have sex with me, but you couldn’t figure out how, so you were doing a vacuum instead.”

Husband: *looks horrified* “Did I finally figure out how?”

Me: “No. You finally divorced me in the dream and got married to your girlfriend, Dyson, instead.”