Possibly The Dimmest Customer Ever

(I have just asked a customer for the serial number on his TV. He informs me he needs to get a flashlight to see it. He is silent for a minute, and then speaks up sounding rather irritated.)

Customer: “Are you going to get me a flashlight, sir?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I need a flashlight or you’re not getting the serial number.”

Me: “I can’t give you a flashlight, sir. I’m only on the phone with you.”

Customer: “Please get me a flashlight.”

Me: “I cannot get you a flashlight. You are in Florida. I’m in Montana.”

Customer: “Do you want my serial number or not?”

Me: “Yes. I need it to set you up for service, but I can’t wave my hands and magically make a flashlight appear in your hand.”

Customer: “Your service is horrible.”

Me: *muting my phone* “I want to go home now.”