Number Crusher

(I am a cashier at a local supermarket.)

Me: “Do you have a membership card?”

Customer: “Yeah, but not with me.”

Me: “Well, is there a phone number we can try?”

(We try several phone numbers and fail. I catch the customer looking me up and down.)

Customer: *creepily* “Well you could try yours, because I’m sure you’ve got one!”

(I go from my normal cheery cashier face, to a straight stone face.)

Me: “Your total is $4.27.”