Not What You’re Expecting When You’re Expecting

(I have a female friend who’s really sweet and nice but quite scatter-brained. She is trying to get pregnant with her husband.)

Friend: “Oh, we’re not pregnant yet but I’m not worried. I thought we’ll try at least a few more months before going to the doctor’s. It’s not been that long yet.”

Me: “It’s better not to worry. That’ll get you only stressed.”

Friend: “So true. You know, I just read in a magazine a helpful fact! Did you know that a woman is fertile only for like six days in a month!?”

Me: “Well, yes, it goes something like that.”

Friend: “You know I thought that we’d have a try with my husband every third day. Then that would make it plenty for a month!”

Me: “…?”

Friend: “Every third day would make like 10 times a month. That’s more than the six days so we’d be sure to get pregnant!”

Me: “Oh sweetheart, you know it doesn’t work that way. You can’t choose the days you’re fertile.”

(And then I explain her the concept of women’s menstruation and fertility. She listens quietly with wide eyes like it’s the first time she hears about why women menstruate.)

Friend: “Oh, my God! I’m so happy you’re so bright. I’m not so good at these things…”

(They were pregnant just over a month later and had a healthy baby boy.)