Their Marriage Is History

, | Friendly | May 29, 2014

(I’m a female member of an international living history group, and every year we have a camping event at a ruined castle in Wales. We’d been there for nine out of ten days, so a group of us decided to dress normally and go to the village pub for dinner and drinks. I didn’t know one lady very well, but she hung out at my friend’s camp so we found that we have the same weird sense of humour. On the way home from the pub we started singing bawdy songs.)

Friend: “Do you know [Song] by [Band]?”

Me: “Course I do! [Friend #2] and I sang it together at his first event!”

(We sing together all the way back to the castle. By this time, everyone had started packing, already gone to bed, or were at a green area getting rid of leftover food and drinks by a campfire.)

Me: “D*** it, why are you already married?”

Friend: “I am, but my persona isn’t.”

Friend #3: “You know, I’m a captain of the [Region] Navy…”

Me: “She’s right. Wanna be buried with our ones?”

Friend: “Yeah, all right.”

Friend #3 *to me* “Do you?”

Me: “H*** yes!”

Friend #3: *to Friend* “Do you?”

Friend: “D*** right..”

Friend #3: “By the power invested in me by the [Region] Navy, I now pronounce you Wife and Wife! Has anyone got a cake?”

(We found a cake and a butter knife and took awkward cake-cutting pictures. Our first dance was skipping around the green humming London Bridge, and for good luck we jumped over a lantern. Her husband took it pretty well when she told him; my fiancé wasn’t as impressed. When they met a few months later…)

Me: “[Fiancé], meet my wife, [Friend].”

Fiancé: *puts down what he was carrying, points at her* “HOMEWRECKER!”

(Thankfully, we all knew he was joking!)

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