Needs Contraception Compensation Concentration

(I receive a call from someone telling me I’m eligible for compensation. He asks if I’m on any birth control, and I politely say I’m not, but I hope he has a nice day. I’m about to hang up, but he continues.)

Caller: “But you have recently had surgery for a bladder mesh, correct?”

Me: “No, sorry. I’ve never had surgery, in fact. I’m sure nothing has happened that would qualify me for any compensation. Thanks anyway, have a nice—”

Caller: “I don’t think you understand! I am offering you money, okay? Are you on birth control?”

Me: “I don’t need any money, and I’m not on birth control. I’m very healthy. Have a nice day!”

Caller: “I. AM. OFFERING. YOU. MONEY. Do you understand? Money!”

Me: “I understand, but no one’s done anything wrong and I don’t need compensation! Thanks any—”

Caller: “Stupid American! YOU QUALIFY FOR COMPENSATION!” *hangs up*