Must Be Cracking Up

(I’m on the couch, eating oyster crackers. I have many odd habits when it comes to eating, and oyster crackers are no exception. My mom passes by and sees my bowl.)

Mom: “Are you only eating half of the crackers?!”

Me: “No, I cracked them in half.”

Mom: “Oh…why?”

Me: “One half goes on one side of my mouth, another goes in the other. Then I take a third for the front.”

Mom: *without missing a beat* “Are you an alien?”