Maxi Pads, Ice Cream, And Shops – Oh My

(I’m currently driving my girlfriend home from the dentist because she just got her wisdom teeth out. She is still very woozy from the drugs.)

Me: “So, how are you? Do you want me to get you a slushie or something?”

Girlfriend: “I’m good. You’re like a maxi pad!”

Me: *holding in laughter.* “A maxi pad? Why a maxi pad?”

Girlfriend: “Yeah. Your name is Max, and you’re useful and necessary for me!”

Me: *chuckling* “Oh. Well, then, thank you for the compliment.”

Girlfriend: “Can we go shopping?”

Me: “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea…”

Girlfriend: “C’mon, you sissy, I’ll be fine!”

Me: “You’re drooling.”

Girlfriend: “Oooh, can we get ice cream at [Ice Cream Store]?

Me: “Okay. That sounds better than shopping. Maybe we’ll go shopping tomorrow if you’re up to it.”

Girlfriend: “Okay!”

(She later recalled none of this, and thankfully the workers at the ice cream shop understood.)