Married To A Black Widow

(I am home with my young daughter and husband. I am deathly afraid of spiders, and my daughter knows it. She comes in from the back garden, her hands cupped, sporting a devilish smile.)

Me: “Uh, honey?”

(My daughter slowly approaches me, revealing she has a small spider in her hand.)

Me: “Honey, don’t come any closer! Mummy is scared of spiders!”

(My husband then grabs my daughter and carries her away.)

Daughter: “But daddy! You’re not scared of spiders!”

Husband: “Yes, but I am scared of your mother!”