Louder Than A Pee(p)

(I work out of town and am on the phone with my fiancée at the end of the day. I stay in a work camp similar to a hotel.)

Me: “I just have to go pee quickly but I’m going to set you down. I don’t want to take you in with me.”

Fiancée: “Okay, I’ll be here.”

(I set the phone at the head of the bed, farthest from the bathroom. After finishing…)

Me: “Okay, I’m back.”

Fiancée: “Are you sure you didn’t take me in there?”

Me: “Babe, I think I would know. Why do you ask?”

Fiancée: “You were peeing so loud.”

Me: “What!? You could hear me?”

Fiancée: “Yea! It was super loud. You’re a loud pee-er.”

Me: “That is so weird.”

Fiancée: “It was a thunder-pee.”

Me: “Just stop.”

Fiancée: “My little thunder-pee-er.”

Me: “I’m not coming home.”