Loopholes Lead To Loopy Souls And Sticky Soles

(I’m browsing in a video game store in the local mall. I have my purse and a bag with items I purchased from another store. When I leave, the door alarm goes off and I freeze. Since this is the first time this has happened to me, I’m unsure of what to do. An employee walks over to me.)

Me: “Um… do you need to search my bag?”

Employee: “No, we’re not allowed to do that.  Did you take anything you maybe FORGOT to pay for?” *winks*

Me: “Uh, no. I actually don’t think I even picked anything up.”

Employee: “Sure, whatever. Walk through it again.”

(I walk through, and the alarm goes off again.)

Employee: “Are you SURE you didn’t take anything?”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure. You’re welcome to check my bag if you like.”

Employee: “We’re not allowed to do that!”

Me: “So, can I go now?”

Employee: “Alarms just don’t go off for fun. There has to be a reason. Look, just give me back whatever you took and you can leave.”

Me: “I honestly did not take anything! You can look in my bag!”

Employee: “I CAN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “So, what’s the procedure?”

Employee: “Procedure?”

Me: “Yes. Since you’re not allowed to look in bags, what do you do when the alarm goes off?”

Employee: “I don’t know. Usually when it goes off, the person makes a run for it.”

Me: “So, what do we do?”

Employee: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Can I go?”

Employee: “Um… I guess so.”

(I walk out and the alarm goes off again. When I get to the mall’s hard floor, I can hear tapping when I walk. The employee, who is still standing there, notices it too. I lift up my foot and find a sticker alarm stuck to the bottom of my shoe. I peel it off and hand it to the employee.)

Me: “A-ha! There’s our answer! I must have stepped on this while I was in the store!”

Employee: “Well, why didn’t you just say that in the first place?!”