April Foolish

(I am a 16-year-old junior in high school. I moved in with my dad and step-mother about three months before, and as I suffer from social anxiety have not made any friends in my new school. As such, I tend to spend more time with my step-mother, since she is the only one I have to talk to and bounce ideas off of. Also note that she is EXTREMELY superstitious.)

Me: *helping her fold laundry* “I’d like to do something funny to Dad and [Little Brother] for April Fools’ Day. I just don’t know what I could do that wouldn’t make a huge mess or anything.”

Step-Mother: “Well, you should be careful what you joke about. One year for April Fools’ Day, I told everyone I had [serious medical condition] and a couple months later I was diagnosed with it. Now I’ll never have my own babies. So, just keep that in mind. Be very careful. You don’t want to ruin your future like I did.”

Me: “Uh, sure. I’ll be careful.”

(I say this only to appease her, since I’m not the least bit superstitious.)

Me: “So, I guess I could always do something to their computers if you could—”

Step-Mother: “OH! Oh, you should tell everyone you’re pregnant! With TWINS!”

Me: *gawking* “Uh, weren’t you just telling me I should be careful what I joke about—”

Step-Mother: “You can even bring that nice boy you were talking about home and say he’s the father!

Me: “Uh… no. No, I think I’ll just… switch the sugar with salt or something.” *hurriedly changes the subject*

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