Life Is Stranger Than Stolen Fiction

(I’m sitting on a bench at a bus stop, waiting for the bus. I am reading a book when more people arrive and start waiting as well. A lady sits next to me and gradually gets more and more interested in my book. She even begins so read over my shoulder. I’m a little annoyed but ignore her. She even goes as far as sighing heavily and tapping her foot, when I’m reading too slowly and she wants me to turn the page. I get pretty self conscious about how fast I read and in the end get fed up with it. I then close the book and make a move to put it in my bag, when the lady suddenly placed her hand gently on my arm.)

Lady: “Excuse me, but could I please see that?”

Me: “Oh? Okay.”

(I agree to show her my book, thinking that she just wanted to write down the title, but the lady quickly snatches my book and stuffs it in her big purse. Stunned of what has just happened, I freeze up and the lady acts as if nothing happened. Everybody else just looks shocked. I quickly gain my thoughts and begin to talk the lady into giving me my book back.)

Me: “Um? Could I have my book back?”

Lady: “No. I need it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that book is mine. I can tell you where to buy it if you want… or show you where the library is?”

Lady: “No. This is easier.”

Me: “I own that book! You can’t just steal it.”

(I reach for my book, which is still sticking out a little bit from her purse, but she quickly pulls it away and stands up.)

Lady: “NO! IT’S MINE!”

(I stand too and people around us tell her to return the book.)

Lady: “SHUT UP! IT’S MINE! IT’S MIIINE!”

(She lifts her arm to swing at me, only to be stopped by one of the men around us. She continues to scream and kick until police arrives.)

Lady: “THAT B**** TRIES TO STEAL MY STUFF! ARREST THAT WHORE!”

(Everybody else backed my story up and the lady tried to attack the police when they asked her to return my book. She got cuffed and still screamed at me from the back of the police car. And I got my book back! It had a happy ending as well.)