Lets Hope She Has Great Heeling Power

(I’m very clumsy, and earlier in the day I’d tripped on a shoe while barefoot in my apartment. One of my toes is swollen and discolored, and since I’d never broken anything before I wasn’t sure if it was broken or I’d just tore something in it somehow. I text my boyfriend, who has gone through emergency first aid programs at his work.)

Me: “Your clumsy girlfriend did a thing.”

(Not even five minutes later he calls me. When I answer, he doesn’t even say hi.)

Boyfriend: “What did you do?”

Me: “I tripped on a shoe and I don’t know if I broke my toe or not.”

(My boyfriend runs me through a little check list over the phone and assures me that the toe is just sprained. Before he hangs up, he sighs.)

Boyfriend: “We can’t even trust you barefoot. How are you going to wear heels for our anniversary without killing yourself somehow?”

Me: “Magic and a prayer.”