Knocked Down A Few Decks

(I am walking into work one day wearing a T-shirt with Optimus Prime brandishing a gun on the front. The following happens as I cross the quarterdeck to get onto my ship.)

Officer Of The Deck: “Hey, shipmate. C’mere.”

Me: “Sir?”

Officer Of The Deck: “Shipmate, to you really think that shirt is appropriate?”

Me: “I don’t follow, sir.”

Officer Of The Deck: *condescending* “It’s got a weapon on it. Do you think that’s appropriate for a sailor to wear in public?”

Me: “Sir, it’s Optimus Prime. He wrote the book on ‘fighting for what is right.'”

Officer Of The Deck: “And you’re going to tell me that you think violence is the answer?”

Me: *looks around at the Aircraft Carrier we’re standing on* “Sir, if I didn’t believe in fighting tooth, nail, and F-18 jet fighter in what I hold dear, I would have joined the Coast Guard.”

(He scowled and let me on board. One of the security guards nearby overheard me and had to walk away so the Officer of the Deck didn’t see him laughing.)