I’ve Come As The Mommy

(I go into a burrito restaurant on Halloween, where they are offering burritos for three dollars if you come in costume. I am not wearing one. When I get up to the register, the following exchange occurs:)

Cashier: “Aww, you aren’t wearing a costume today!”

Me: *looking down at my sweater and old jeans* “Yes, I am.”

Cashier: “What are you supposed to be?”

Me: “A mom with depression who hasn’t eaten anything in two days?”

Cashier: *with a knowing smile* “Your total is three dollars.”