He Has A Computer Bug Up His A**

Customer: *slams two broken laptops on counter* “Fix ’em.”

Me: “Um. Okay. What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “I don’t know; that’s your job, not mine.”

Me: “Sure thing. Do you happen to have a warranty on these by chance?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Why?”

(At this point, I’m plugging both laptops into the wall under my desk via the chargers the customer has supplied, so I can attempt to boot them up.)

Me: “Well, these appear to be a little bit older. If they are out of warranty, we can work with you on services for rep—”

(The customer begins yanking on the power chords, which are now plugged in under the counter. The “bricks” on the chargers are swinging very close to my face. He yanks hard enough to free both chargers from the wall, and they come inches from smacking me in the face hard.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, was that necessary?”

Customer: “I’m not paying you to fix my s***, you a**-hole! Fix it or I’m throwing them at you!”

(At this point, management has come over to the counter and asked the customer to leave. He looks right at me.)

Customer: “You want to go outside, buddy?”

Me: “Sir, are you serious?”

(The customer is escorted to the front of the door, detained by loss prevention, and the police are called. The manager comes up to me afterwards.)

Manager: “Did he come in like that? What just happened?”