Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A Quarter

(Decorated flip-flops are all the rage at this time. I am trying to help two middle-aged ladies who are shopping with two small children, a roughly three-year-old boy in the cart seat and a roughly six-year-old girl running around. The boy is very bored and keeps grabbing one of the women, grabbing spools of ribbon and shoving them back in the incorrect slots, and screaming. The women just ignore the children and the girl continues to aggravate the boy’s behavior. The entire group acts conceited and entitled.)

Woman #1: “Yeah, I need this ribbon but in one-quarter inch.” *holds up one-half inch by-the-yard black and white zebra print*

Me: “All right, it looks like we only carry half-inch and wider for that print in by-the-yard and only 3/8th inch wide in the by-the-spool section. What are you planning on using it for so I can help figure out the best option?”

Woman #1: *shoves a white flip-flop at me, the size making it obvious it is hers* “The woman at [Competitor] told me I could glue fabric around the edge to decorate it but the silky fabric she cut frayed! I want ribbon or something else that won’t fray!”

Me: “All right. You could get the larger one and fold it over since you will be gluing it anyway. Or you could cut it down and use a fray-check before gluing to prevent it from fraying. That way, you wouldn’t need to buy as much.”

Woman #1: “No! I want quarter-inch ribbon so I don’t have to cut it.”

Me: “I understand but we do not carry black and white zebra print in quarter-inch width. If you prefer, we have other patterns in that size. Or we also carry black and white zebra fabrics you can get cut, but I would, again, recommend using a fray-check since they will be seeing a lot of wear and tear on flip-flops—”

Woman #1: “NO! I WANT RIBBON!”

Me: “Well, since we do not carry it, you might be able to find it at [Competitor #2], [Competitor #3], or possibly at [Competitor #4].”

Woman #1: “I HAVE ALREADY TRIED THERE! DON’T TELL ME I HAVE TO GO BACK TO [COMPETITOR] IN [Town one hour away]!”

Me: *really thinking how I can make this person happy or at least offer more suggestions* “Where do you live? [Competitor] actually just opened up a branch in [Town half an hour away], if that is any closer to you.

Woman #1: *she is screaming at this point* “I LIVE IN [Town 45 minutes in opposite direction].”

Me: “Oh. The only other suggestion I can think of, then, is to maybe get some sharpies and draw your own designs.”

(At this point, the boy has moved on to throwing spools of ribbon while the girl tugs at him. The woman finally takes notice when I bend down to scoop up an unraveling spool.)

Woman #1: “WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?! STOP BEING BRATS!” *to the girl* “GET AWAY FROM HIM AND BEHAVE!”

(As she says this she shoves the little girl away while simultaneously ramming her cart into me. She glares at me like she is daring me to say something but I just smile and continue to re-wind the ribbon spool. Woman #2 finally takes notice and starts screaming at the kids that they need to apologize for making a mess. You know, instead of the adults paying attention to them and preventing them from misbehaving.)

Me: “If there is nothing else I can help you with, have a nice day!”

Woman #1: “WHAT?! YOU HAVEN’T HELPED ME AT ALL! THIS IS TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE!”

(I just walked away thinking: And you are a terrible parent. I gave you 10 different options and ideas. Short of pulling what you wanted out of the non-existent magic satchel in my a**, there was nothing else I could do. I walked right into the break room where my manager (who I filled in on the situation) told me to stay until those women left the store. Apparently Woman #1 was looking for me…)