Fat Chance Of Firing Family

(While ordering:)

Me: “Do you have any bacon?”

Waitress: “Bacon? I think we do.”

Me: “I’ll have a BLT then, please.”

Waitress: *looking me up and down* “Wouldn’t you prefer a salad? You look obese enough already!”

(She was within earshot of the owner, who then dragged her, by the ear, out of the bar.)

Owner: *coming up to us* “Here’s a life lesson: NEVER employ family!”