Es-pwñ-ol

(I work at an electronics retail store where we check receipts. It’s 20 minutes past closing time and I have to stand by the electronic doors and open them manually. A middle-aged couple approaches me with a 50-inch television.)

Wife: “We’re going to need someone to load the TV into our car. My husband has a problem with his arm.”

Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. I’ll have to try and get someone’s attention, as I can’t leave my spot here. We’re closing right now so we don’t have very many employees at the moment.”

Husband: “I need someone now. My arm is messed up and I can’t lift the TV, so go get someone.”

Me: “I understand that, sir. I will find someone for you, but you have to understand that I cannot leave this area as I have to guard the door.”

(I begin scoping the area to find an employee that can load the TV for them when I hear them talking about me in Spanish. I am very pale and white, but I’m fluent in Spanish.)

Wife: *in Spanish* “She’s just being lazy. She could leave if she wanted to. Retail workers are unbelievable.”

(After two minutes, I manage to get someone’s attention from the parking lot. I turn back to the couple, who are still insulting me.)

Me: *in Spanish* “Excuse me, that gentleman in the parking lot would be glad to assist you.”

(Their faces go white and they rush out of the store. My coworker, who has just joined me, speaks up.)

Coworker: “That’s golden.”