Delayed By A Customer Is A Certainty Principle

(I’m standing in line waiting at the check-out of a popular department store. There’s no one behind me, and I’m not in a particular hurry. The woman in front of me is buying a single item, for which she has a coupon.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but the coupon won’t scan. Did you—”

Customer: “What do you mean it won’t scan?”

Cashier: “Well, I see that this coupon is for [Brand Name item] and you’re trying to purchase [generic version of the same item]. The coupon only—”

Customer: “It’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

Cashier: “Well, no. The coupon only—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Just scan the coupon!”

Cashier: “I’m terribly sorry, but the coupon won’t—”

Customer: “I came here because I had that coupon. Now put the discount on!”

(Since it seems like we might be here all day, and I know that trying to explain her mistake won’t get anywhere, I interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, how much is the coupon worth?”

Customer: “It’s for two dollars. But—”

Me: “If I give you two dollars, will you pay and take your item?”

Customer: *insulted tone* “No! It’s the principle of the matter!”

(I wound up waiting another five minutes while they called over the manager, and no, she did not get her discount)