Listed Under Idiot
Me: *waiting for answer on phone* “Hello. Can I speak to [Name], please?”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t know anyone called [Name].”
Me: “Is that [Company]?”
Woman: “No, it’s not.”
Me: “Oh, I must have dialled a wrong number. I’m sorry to have troubled you.” *hangs up*
Me: *while checking the number I need, my phone rings* “Hello, [Company]. How can I help you?”
Angry Man: “Who is this?”
Me: “This is [Company] and I’m [My Name]. How can I help you?”
Angry Man: “Where did you get this number?”
Me: *confused* “I’m sorry, sir, but you just rang us.”
Angry Man: “No, I didn’t. You rang me!”
Me: *thinks he may have been on hold from another department* “Oh, well if you tell me who you were talking to I’ll try and connect you.”
Angry Man: “I don’t want to talk to anybody. I want to know how you got this number!”
Me: “Um, well can you tell me who you are and I’ll have a look?”
Angry Man: “I’m not telling you my name!”
Me: *realizes* “Is this the number I rang before?”
Angry Man: “Yes! I used callback to find who you are and I demand to know where you got this number!”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t have your number. I was trying to call someone else and made a mistake.”
Angry man: “You’re lying. You can’t dial my number! Tell me where you got it!”
Me: “I don’t understand. If I can’t dial your number how did I dial it?”
Angry man: “That’s what I want to know!”
Me: “Does your phone not receive calls?”
Angry man: “Of course it does!”
Me: “Then how couldn’t I dial it?”
Angry Man: “It’s NOT LISTED!”
Me: “Ah, I see. That doesn’t mean I can’t dial it. It just means it’s not in the phone book.”
Angry Man: “Exactly. You’re not allowed to know it, so where did you get it from?”
Me: “I don’t know how clearly I can say this: I rang your phone by accident. It was a mistake. I do not know your number. It was an error.”
Angry Man: “I demand to speak to the manager!”
Me: “I am the manager.”
Angry Man: “What is your name?”
Me: “I already told you; my name is [Name] and this is (company).”
Angry Man: “I demand to know where you got my number from!”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t think I can explain this any clearer. If you would like to make a complaint please call us on our customer service number. You’ll find it listed in the phone book. Goodbye” *hangs up*
